I have studied many of the books and materials that John C. Maxwell has put out for most of my career.  His new book, called “Everyone Communicates- Few Connect” is a must-read for all! Once again John has taken success principles that he has discovered by talking to thousands of the world’s most effective leaders in all walks of life.

According to John, “Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.” That is the difference between people actually listening to what you have to say. This is so important no matter what business or career you have chosen.

I learned by reading this book something that I discovered when I was a Cosmetologist. Everyone wants to talk when you are doing their hair, and people are all so different. So I found that by focusing on them and finding common ground you can connect with anyone.  John points out in his book that this same principle works when talking to one person or speaking to a large audience. If you don’t connect, they will lose interest in anything valuable that you have to share!

Connecting with people requires energy, and a positive attitude. John said that “people may hear your words, but they feel your attitude.”  Do you have a passion and a genuine interest when you talk to people? It is visible not only through your words,but your body language and your actions.

In “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect‘” you will learn John Maxwell’s 5 Connecting Principles and 5 Connecting Practices. This can be used  in personal, professional and most importantly, family relationships. I’m sure that you will want this book in your reading library too!

I am so excited about this book, and what it can do for you that I have the privilege of giving away 5 hardback copies to my readers. ( you pay only for shipping)  The winners will be chosen on August 23. To win a copy you can enter by posting a comment below (no spam please) Follow me on Facebook and post on my wall that you want a copy of John’s book, or follow me on twitter and send me a tweet that you would like to win this book. (Retweet or Facebook Like and you are entered another time!)

Thank you to Jennifer Womble from Thomas Nelson Publishers for allowing me to preview this book and providing the giveaway copies.

Technorati Tags: book review, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, giveaway, John C. Maxwell

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I recently attended a Director’s meeting with one of the top people in our Company. I was introduced to a new principle that I as unaware of called the 4:8 Principle. It is based on a book by Tommy Newberry called “The 4 8 Principle”. It was a strong reminder to me of the power of positive thinking. That is not always easy though when unpleasant things are happening to us.  Here are 17 ways to achieve joy and maintain it from his website. I found extreme power in reading this and hope that you do too!

Difficult, trying times reveal just how positive you really are. Think about it.

What’s the virtue in being positive when you’re on a roll, when everything is clicking for you and falling your way?

Your potential for business excellence, excellence in your marriage, and excellence in your family life demands that you master the skill of staying U.P. (Ultra-Positive) even when–and especially when–everyone else isn’t. There is a tendency in tough times to zero in on the things that are “out of whack” and forget about all that is working in our lives and in our country.

When you’re Ultra-Positive, you’ll be more creative, productive, energetic, attractive, and most importantly, receptive to God’s will. Here are seventeen practical options to build your momentum. Pick your favorites and get started today. Then spread the joy to others.

1. Make the Decision to Stay U.P.

Nothing of consequence happens until you promise yourself that you’ll become the most positive person you know, even in light of challenging circumstances. Raise your standards! Become an inspiration to others. Everything else flows from this key decision to separate yourself from the herd mentality, from the vast majority who blame, whine, gossip, and predict the sky is falling. Life is short. Refuse to buy into this mass hypnotism…Take a stand, starting now.

2. Start U.P. then end U.P. every day.

One of the simplest ways to reduce stress and anxiety is to begin and end each day with what I call Positive Mental Nutrition™. Feed your mind with inspirational ideas, spiritual truth, or motivational nuggets for ten to fifteen minutes immediately upon awakening each morning and right before drifting to sleep each evening. During these two time periods, your mind is extremely susceptible to programming, so make sure your inputs are positive, healthy, and goal-directed. Read, visualize, affirm, pray, and rewrite your goals…and practice feeling thankful for what you do have!

3. Summarize Each Day’s Victories, Large or Small, in Writing.

This one practice alone can zap fear and generate quantum leaps in self-confidence. Start logging your accomplishments each evening in a notebook, hardbound journal, or on your computer. What a great, 4:8 habit!

4. U.P. your Physical Exercise

Another pillar of Ultra-Positive living is consistent, moderate exercise. This includes aerobic work to burn fat and improve heart health; weight work to tone and strengthen your muscles and elevate metabolism; and flexibility work to stay loose and limber. Exercise more. Exercise a lot more! Face the facts. When you’re in terrific shape and feel better about yourself, you feel better about your life and more optimistic about your future. You’re positioned to live U.P. to your full potential.

5. Break U.P. the Big Four

Negative thinking leads to negative emotions, which in turn trigger more negative thinking. The vicious cycle becomes engaged. The top four negative emotions include fear, worry, blame, and guilt. These terrorize your potential and immobilize your efforts toward becoming Ultra-Positive. When you begin experiencing results you didn’t want or expect, it’s easy to get scared and start thinking more about potential losses than potential gains. This mind-set triggers worry or what I call reverse goal setting, where you vividly imagine what you don’t want. To transfer the burden of worry, you will often blame someone or something outside of yourself. Alternatively, you may exaggerate your role in the negative events and experience guilt. Consider negative emotions to be lies from the enemy. Deal with them directly by refusing to entertain the thoughts that fuel them. This is a point very much worth reinforcing: Invest your time thinking about what you want instead of what you don’t want.

6. Forgive Someone, Including Yourself, Daily

Harboring grudges and hostility against anyone, including yourself, tends to attract more circumstances to be upset about. Practice forgiving somebody every day for real or imagined transgressions. The better you become at forgiveness, the more positive you can become as a human being. If you skip this one, I’ll even forgive you.

7. Quarantine Negativity if You Can’t Dissolve It

Carve out a particular time and place to worry (worry time) and to complain (issue time) each week. This is extremely effective because then the rest of your week isn’t diluted with the minority of negative circumstances that can infect otherwise healthy days. When you cut the spontaneity out of negativity, you severely weaken it.

8. Focus on God. He’s U.P.

Remind yourself of everything you know to be true about God. God is all-powerful. God is love. God is sovereign. God is always with us. God is absolute truth. God never changes. And so on. Thinking about God is good, really good! And the bigger you make God, the smaller your problems become.

9. Schedule Four-Minute Positive Injections Every Two Hours

Think of these as Positive Pit Stops. Review your goals or mission. Practice affirmation or visualization. Pray. Read the Bible. Relive a positive memory. Write a thank-you card or send an e-mail of appreciation to someone important. Ask 4:8 Questions. (See page 33 in that smiley face book)

10. Simplify and Declutter to stay U.P.

Complexity is negative. Simplicity is positive. Room by room, drawer by drawer, try tossing one tiny item of clutter every day for thirty consecutive days. My 1% clients love this one and so will you, because doing even a small task will help you to feel more positive. Break your jumbo-sized goals into sub-goals and milestones, and then splinter them into even smaller pieces if necessary to spur you into action. Renegotiate or downsize existing commitments to lighten your load a bit for the next thirty days.

11. Get to Bed Sixty Minutes Earlier for Ten Straight Days

Fatigue, especially chronic fatigue, invites negativity and cowardly thinking. During periods of intense or prolonged stress, extra sleep will help your brain remain an ally in the war against mediocrity. Cut something out of the evening schedule (maybe the bad news) and drift to sleep with visions of victories dancing in your head. Your body, mind, and spirit will thank you.

12. Take a Twenty-Four-Hour Mental Fast

Become Ultra-Positive one day at a time. You can rid your attitude of toxic thoughts through the practice of mental fasting. Read and reread The 4:8 Principle if you want to master this simple, relevant, powerful and biblically-based mental technique. During your fast, abstain from all complaining, fear-mongering, criticizing, excuse-making, gossiping, and worrying whatsoever! Start with a twenty-four minute fast and gradually discipline your mind to repel all negativity for a whole day. Focus on progress. Rinse and repeat as necessary.

13. Stay U.P. and Watch Your Favorite Funny Movies

Laughter is fabulously positive. Research indicates that people who laugh more actually have more fun. Isn’t that surprising? Consider building your own comedy library on DVD. Save funny movies on TIVO. Watch often. You’ll stay healthier, more creative, and less stressed–and that’s a great alternative to the medicine cabinet.

14. Have a Counter-Attack Plan U.P. and Ready

Become hypersensitive to your thought life. Since you can be negative only when you’re thinking “8:4 thoughts,” you can quickly become positive by thinking “4:8 thoughts.” This is called the Principle of Substitution. The split-second you notice any negative thought running through your mind, replace it emphatically with something like, “I am responsible” or “I trust God” “God is with me” “This is temporary” or “I can do it.” Repeat, repeat, repeat! Be ready with your comeback before the heat of the moment. Make negative, limiting thoughts unwelcome in your mind.

15. Re-Engage an Old Hobby to Stay U.P.

Involve yourself in a positive activity that used to be important to you but may have gotten squeezed out of your life due to other priorities. This will be both therapeutic and rejuvenating. Consider it a gift to yourself.

16. Intentionally Cultivate Ultra-Positive Company

This one is mandatory. It’s next to impossible to become or stay U.P. when the people you live and work with are petty, “8:4 thinkers.” Nothing equals the influence of your habitual associations. Especially now, be purposeful about which people are close to you on a regular basis. The people you hang out with influence your outlook on life. As you become more optimistic, you will attract more optimistic people in your life, and that’s good.

17. Help Someone Else U.P.

Donate your money. Donate your time. Volunteer. Simply serve someone less fortunate (and there are a billion or so to choose from) or contribute your talents and gifts to a worthy organization. Helping those who need help reduces self-centeredness and puts your own challenges into a much more positive perspective.

The key to staying U.P. is to remember that every situation can indeed be positive when you view it through the lens of Philippians 4:8, as an opportunity for spiritual growth, character refinement and the redistribution of joy.

Which of these 17 Ways to Stay U.P. (Ultra-Positive) will you put into practice today? Do you have other ways that you stay U.P.?
Share your thoughts here.

Technorati Tags: positive attitude, positive thinking, recommended reading

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Can you imagine every single person that you meet wearing this sign aroung their neck?  I was taught this early on in my direct sales business by Mary Kay Ash herself! Discoving this secret of recognizing everyone, will boost your success in whatever business or ministry that you are involved in!

So many people go through life without anyone taking the time to let them know that they are appreciated. When was the last time that you heard the sound of applause for something you did? Chances are for many people that was when they graduated from high school or college. In my business, we try to recognize people all the time.  When I see a woman achieve a little success, I let her know that it’s important. Little successes build bigger success.

My unit of Independent Beauty Consultants and I are celebrating our 22nd anniversary this month. Some of them have been part of my business the entire time, others for a decade or two.  Thinking that I don’t always tell them often enough how important they are to me and how blessed that I am to have them in my life, I recently sent out an email with a video link for them to watch. I’d like to share it with you today. The message is very powerful!

www.BlueRibbonMovie.com

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It had been a long winter. Although it seemed like  a dozen requests to come and visit, it really only took three calls to get her to make the two hour drive to see her  daughter and  family. When the day arrived to go make the visit it was cold and rainy. Still, a promise was a promise,so she went.

When she finally walked into their  house and hugged and greeted the grandchildren, she said, “Forget the daffodils! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!” Her daughter smiled calmly and said, “We drive in this all the time, Mother.”

“Well, you won’t get me back on the road until it clears, and then I’m heading for home!” she assured her. “I was hoping you’d take me
over to the garage to pick up my car.” “How far will we have to drive?” “Just a few blocks,” She agreed. “I’ll drive. I’m used to this.” After several minutes, she asked, “Where are we going? This isn’t the way to the garage!”

“We’re going to my garage the long way,”her daughter smiled, “by way of the daffodils.” ” smiling sternly she said, “please turn around.” “It’s all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience.” After about twenty minutes, they turned onto a small gravel road revealing  a small church.

On the far side of the church, there was a hand-lettered sign that read, “Daffodil Garden.” Getting out of the car and taking each  child’s hand, she  followed Amy down the path. Then,turning a corner of the path, they looked up and gasped.

Before them lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns-great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers. “But who has done this?” she wondered. “It’s just one woman,”
“She lives on the property. That’s her home.” A well kept  frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory. Walking up to the house. a poster was visible once they got to the patio.

“Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking” was the headline.
The first answer was a simple one. “50,000 bulbs,” it read.
The second answer was “One at a time, by one-woman Two hands, two feet, and very little brain.”
The third answer was, “Began in 1958.”
There it was, The Daffodil Principle.

For me, that story was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than fifty years before, had begun-one bulb at a time-to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, just planting one bulb at a time, year after year, had changed the world. This unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of ineffable (indescribable) magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle of her daffodil garden;  is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time–often just one baby-step at a time–and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can truly change the world!

I could regret what I might  have accomplished if I had thought bigger thoughts and aspired to reach even larger goals thirty-five years ago. Imagine if I  had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve?
Instead of thinking of the lost hours of yesterdays; why not start today? My hope is that you only ask, “How can I put this to use today?”
(This story is somewhat of a legend that I heard many years ago. It still inspires me as much today as the first time that I heard it.)
So, stop waiting until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you lose ten pounds
Until you gain ten pounds
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and, dance like no one’s watching.
When your work comes from the heart, it always leaves a legacy!

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Are you excited each day when you get up?  Are you expecting great things to happen? As women, we are being pulled from all different directions and expected to do it all.  I see this trend increasing every day.  I am frequently asked how I balanced it all.

When I look back five years ago to the first time that I was National Queen of Personal Sales, I have to remind myself sometimes that I had the same 24 hours each day that I do now.  I have to remind myself that attitude is EVERYTHING. That year when I attempted to do something far beyond anything that I had ever done before, it was necessary for me to know where my power and strength came from. Each and every day that year I listened to this song. It gave me what I needed.

I had goal posters everywhere, and signs with positive affirmations.  I found this one yesterday, prompting me to write this post. Not only is it necessary to be specific about what you are reaching for, the steps necessary to achieve it, but which way to look for direction- UP!

The 7 Ups
Author: Unknown

1. Wake Up!!

Decide to have a good day.
“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalms 118:24

2. Dress Up!!

The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
“The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” I Samuel 16:7

3. Shut Up!!

Say nice things and learn to listen.
God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking.
“He who guards his lips guards his soul.” Proverbs 13:3

4. Stand Up!!

… for what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
“Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good…” Galatians 6:9-10

5. Look Up!!

… to the Lord.
“I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me”. Philippians 4:13

6. Reach Up!!

… for something higher.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5-6

7. Lift Up!!

… your Prayers.
“Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING.” Philippians 4:6

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No matter where you are in life or business right now, regardless of  your circumstances, there is no such thing as failure. You see, most people have been programmed to be afraid of failure. But I believe that failure, more than anything else, is an attitude.

I’m participating in a study right now based on the book If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat This caused me to think about how we define failure and our reaction to it. All of us can remember times when we didn’t get the results we wanted – we failed a test, tried out for a team and didn’t make it, applied for a job that we didn’t get or put together a business plan that didn’t work, or got involved in a romance that turned sour.

But successful people don’t think in terms of failure. They think in terms of results they can learn from. I believe that there is no such thing as failure, just lessons.  If you try something and it doesn’t work out, consider it  a learning experience, and  take new actions to get new results.

Think about it. What is the one asset, the one benefit you have today that you didn’t have in the past? Experience, right? And experience is what you make of it. Do you keep making the same mistakes again and again, or do you stop and reflect? If you don’t learn the lesson the first time, it is my experience that you will keep getting a similar “lesson” until you get it right.

Maybe you are afraid of failure, but how do you feel about personal growth?  Fear of failure can stop you before you start. It can stop you from taking the risks you need to take in order to grow. If you redefine failure as learning, as important feedback, there is no longer anything to fear.

Edison tried thousands of different materials before he found the right filament for the electric light bulb. When asked why he didn’t quit, he said, “Why should I? I now know 2,000 things that don’t work!” Jonas Salk had the same attitude. If you look at your experiences the they did, you are much more likely to achieve success.

Be honest, we all have fears, don’t we? Is it a stumbling block or a stepping stone for you? Why not feel the fear and do it anyway? You will be glad that you did!

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Find Your Way to Beautiful

People will buy from someone that they know, like and trust. Are you that person? Consider the relationships that you develop with your customers. Are you taking the time to listen to them and consider their needs? What about their family and personal life? Keeping track of those special days such as birthdays and anniversaries will go a long way in making your customers feel important when you take the time to send them a special greeting.  They really don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care about them.

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It’s finally happened! Last week my goal was to book at least one person, and although I fell short, I accomplished this on Monday! Ever since our home was unpacked to where we could go out each day, we have been doing that. It was pretty easy to find places to go because we needed lots of odds and ends, like curtain rods, draperies, etc. In addition, we attended community events with my grandchildren, joined the local American Legion and Chamber of Commerce. My Company spends a great deal of money producing approved advertising that you can edit with your own name, phone number and web address. So I was able to do that even before my new business cards arrived.

I put these Company Approved ads on bulletin boards all over town to get my name out.  Because this is a small town ( population around 12,000) I began to see some of the same people in other places! So it was great to be able to say hi and introduce myself as a new member of the community. People have been genuinely very friendly and easy to talk to. I started handing out coupons for $10 off and a free pampering session with me, and got the contact numbers of anyone who seemed interested. Then I followed up the same day with an invitation to my Wednesday or Thursday night pampering sessions or Saturday afternoon.  (those are the times that I decided to hold appointments here in my studio) If those times or my location is not convenient to anyone, than I am willing to go to the client, too.

Once a have the appointment booked, I always ask- “who do you know?”  offering to double the coupon if they share their appoinment with a friend. After all, women like to do things with a friend- we don’t even go to the bathroom together, do we? This is only the beginning. I plan to build a whole new addition to my business in this area. Subscribe to my weekly free e-newsletter to follow my progress! (remember, I have only been here a couple weeks now)

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Finding a church is one of the best ways to get connected in your community. For that reason, we decided to go to church even the first week when we were not even unpacked. ( we are still not entirely unpacked, but it’s more livable) Lucky for us, our new home is right across the street from a church! So last week, we got up late, got dressed and walked over to the service. We were greated by friendly people, and even stayed after the service to talk to other members of the church.  The service was more traditional than the church that we were members of in our East Coast home, but that won’t entirely be the deciding factor in the church that we decide to call home here. We even had a visit later that week from a church member with cookies! (Alex said this church wins hands down, but I insist we look at a few others.)

Understand, that I am NOT using a church as a way to solicit my direct sales business,nor do I encourage others to do so. I do feel that it is important to be connected right away with others in your community for various other practical reasons. Yesterday we attended a different church in town. The church was much larger, but not as large as our former church. The service was more contemporary and we loved it!  We were not approached or spoken to by anyone.  I guess if we continue to attend, they will warm up to us. In the meantime, next week we will try another church.

We have 3 other churches on our list to attend. I don’t encourage church-hopping and don’t plan to continue doing this longer than our first month here.  That leads us to some important questions. What is most important to us in a church? Is it the size, the music, the congregation, or the ministries and special programs that they offer? It is definitely NOT going to be based on a particular denomination, although we will examine their professions of faith before we join.

What about you? Has anyone recently moved and had success in finding a new church? I would love to hear your suggestions!

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